Tonight, I came home from the hospital stressed, but mostly tired. Sitting at the hospital is always tiring, but when your parent is in pain, that time is even more tiring. When your parent is in pain and distress and not acting like herself, things become overwhelmingly tiring.
And this overwhelming sense of tiredness is exhaustion.
But it's not just the hospital waiting and my mom's discomfort that led to this exhaustion. It's the sum total of all the ways I've tried to mesh my personal and professional lives the past few weeks. Progress reports, parent-teacher conference forms and conferences, lesson plans, sub plans for all the days I had to miss school to be at hospitals or doctors with my parents, writing my posts for Slice of Life Challenge, trying to comment on other's slices (not very successfully, so far), spending an hour or more with mom and dad each night at their rehab facility, doing their laundry, running errands for them, finding time to spend with my husband, making sure I get my exercise minutes in -- these have all become the "have to's" I've imposed upon myself.
Which brings me full circle to my OLW - kind. I reread my original post carefully and realize that I stand no chance of being kind to others if I'm not being kind to myself.
Some of these items I don't have choice about; they are part of my professional duties. But others, I can begin to be more flexible about.
Though I love the idea of writing every day in March, and I hope that happens, as of tonight, in this state of exhaustion I find myself, I am choosing to be kind to myself. If I post every day with this amazing Slice community, great. If not, it means on that particular day, something else more pressing needed my attention, even if that "more pressing" item is going to yoga or reading for an hour or so.
I don't like the person I am right now, so "choosing kind" for myself will helpfully allow me to choose kind in regard to others as well.
Thanks so much to the amazing team at Two Writing Teachers blog for hosting this month of Slices. Head on over to see what others are talking about today!!
Karen, the most important thing to be is kind to yourself. You may not feel very "kind" right now, but you certainly are "wise"! I wish there was some way I could help you pick up one of those pieces. Your plate sounds very full. This writing is supposed to be fun, not a chore that's "one more thing". Please ask if we can do anything to help!
ReplyDeleteThe most important lesson we learn is being kind to ourselves. I applaud you for realizing that you can't do it all and giving yourself permission to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I'll send lots of positive thoughts, energy and prayers your way. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Karen -- so sorry to hear this place you are in. Yes, taking care of ourselves is so hard sometimes, but in those same times, it is also most essential. Know that if you are here every day, we will be cheering you on. And if you are not here everyday? We will still be cheering you on!! Hoping for more balance, and more self-care coming to you soon!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with choosing kind for yourself! Your plate is way too full right now. Keep that flexible attitude and get some rest!
ReplyDeleteKaren, You are absolutely right! You need to be kind to yourself. Post when and if you want to! And don't even worry about commenting! You are in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely need to be kind to yourself. If a plane is crashing they say to put your air mask on first. You can't be kind to others if you are burned out. Try to take time to breathe. I can relate.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have succeeded with being kind to yourself in the last three days! It sounds like a very tiring and challening time right now and i wish you good luck with being kind to yourself :-)
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