Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Goodbyes are Hard - Slice of Life Tuesday

I may have written about this before during the Slice Challenge, but I'm feeling a real need to put words down about my feelings right now, so please bear with me.

I had to say goodbye to my oldest daughter Sunday.  She was headed back to her current home and workplace in Washington DC.  She loves her job, she loves her friends, and she is a real success story in that she had few friends and no job or place to live when she first moved to DC.  I am both equal amounts of proud and happy when I think about her life now.

But the hardest part of all of this for me is that she lives apart from us.  On a day to day basis, I'm fine with that, knowing how much she loves her new home.  But when it comes time to say goodbye after we visit her or she visits us, I'm a soggy natural disaster!!

I hugged her Sunday, and didn't want to let go, all the time crying.  My intention is not to make her sad or upset; I just know I'll miss her until I can see her in person again.

My grandmother, who lived in Arizona, used to be the same way at the end of our yearly summer vacation visits to see her.  I have definitely become just like her.  A full-on waterworks when it's time for the goodbyes.

I have no solutions, but I just really needed to channel my feelings of sadness, so writing was the first thing that came to mind.  Thanks for understanding.  Sunday was a real rough patch for me.

Thanks to Ruth and Stacey for hosting us on Tuesdays -- I'm delighted to be continuing my membership in this writing community that meets every week for Slice of Life Tuesday.  And on this day in particular, I'm so happy that there is this forum for me to express my emotions.

21 comments:

  1. Right there with you! My son is loving Arizona. I'm thrilled that he is doing so well, but I sure miss him!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I understand. They grow up, but don't leave your heart. Does planning the next visit help? Goodbyes ARE hard. Best wishes for another adventure with your daughter soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'll be taking my youngest daughter to college in a few short weeks. I have a feeling I will be a waterworks, too. Thanks for your words that remind me other moms go through these goodbyes and it will be OK...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I understand. We want them to do well and to "fly" with the wings we have given them but the "missing them" part hurts - lots,.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Karen, I have no idea how hard this must be. We want our kids to grow up but how I pray mine end up living near me. I did move away from my hometown for awhile but when jobs opened up, my husband and I moved back. Hope you get to visit with your daughter again soon.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I feel the same, Karen. You want your child to have a good and happy life, just not so far away. I was heartbroken when my son, daughter-in-law and grandson moved out of state last year. Good byes are definitely not fun. Here's a big hug, Karen!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my gosh, I totally understand how you felt on Sunday and really every day. My nephew and niece who are just like a son and daughter (I've blogged about them on many occasions) live on opposite coasts. Each time they leave my sister and I need to remind ourselves that through out their lives we always encouraged them to find their passion no matter where it was... and they both have. Your daughter sounds like she too has found her passion. Let that be of comfort each time she leaves. And good for you for teaching and allowing her to be an independent and strong lady!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am glad that you were able to see your daughter. Goodbyes are so hard. I only live 2 hours from my parents and even with that short distance, I often think about wanting to move back in order to have those day to day interactions.

    I could get a sense of your mixed emotions from your post.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, I get that feeling Karen! When our kids are little, all we want for them to do is grow up, be independent and happy. Then whenwe do that we realize we forgot to tell them we want them to do all of those things close by. :) My oldest is moving from CA to go to grad school in PA. I'm so happy that she'll be less than 4 hours away. I guess these are all normal "mom" feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are not alone, so many have loved ones far away. My heart broke when my son moved to California nine years ago. I'm glad you were able to share your feelings as we all want to hold on a moment longer.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My journey begins today as I read your post with tears in my eyes. Anna just arrived home and we leave Thursday for SC to move her into her new place. Then a week on the beach for vacation and then she will drive to SC and we'll come home to OH. I am not sure I can let go, but your post gives me encouragement.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Karen, thanks for sharing! As my daughters get older (frosh and jr in HS), I see each day how much they are growing away from me. Thanks for showing that I'm allowed to have tears!

    ReplyDelete
  13. My daughter is just starting high school, but I know that time will fly. I just hope I'm prepared.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Sending you a hug.

    ReplyDelete
  15. There's a lot of humming "Sunrise, Sunset" going on in the blogosphere. I'm doing okay with my son being in the Philippines-- I know he's having fun, and I'm kind of enjoying not having him roll his eyes at me! Next up is sending daughter off to Kent, so we'll see how I do with that. Good to know other people survive it as well!

    ReplyDelete
  16. How precious those connections are.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You expressed those empty feelings so well. It's just...so...hard. Sometimes there's nothing to do but cry - and then cry some more. Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. But when you come visit, Karen, you can also hang out with Katie Keier and I. We live right here near D.C.
    Let me know when you are coming:)
    Pat Johnson

    ReplyDelete
  19. Karen,
    I read your post last week, but thought of it again this morning as I packed Cortney up for North Carolina. As she pulled out of the driveway headed to a new place to live, a new job, and new friends, I tried to stay focused on the opportunities she had in front of her. Not easy.

    Weren't they just small kids running around our houses? Weren't we just chasing them from one event to another? Where did the time go?

    I like your sentence, "I am both equal amounts of proud and happy when I think about her life now." Well said. I think they've accomplished much.

    Thank goodness for Skype, Gmail, Facebook and all the new modern conveniences that help us stay in touch with them. Remember when making a long distance call was something you couldn't afford to do.

    I'm thinking of you, my friend.

    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
  20. Karen,
    I am sending you HUGE hugs and thanking you for sharing your feelings here with all your readers. My oldest will be moving into her dorm in three short weeks. (I feel a little guilty saying this as she will be close.) But the thought of three plates at the dinner table, an empty bed at night and one less voice in the sea of noise makes my eyes water and my heart stop.

    Thanks Karen!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Goodbyes are always hard. I've found that writing is the best way to funnel our emotions.

    ReplyDelete